Monday, December 28, 2009

Preparations for a New Year

I have never been one to believe in "New Year Resolutions", per se. Instead, I look at the past year....the good, bad AND ugly. This year, however, I am going to make some goals for myself of what I would really like to do to improve myself and my life.

This past year, I have accomplished so many awesome things:
  • I began a lifestyle change and actually stuck to it! This has made me so proud of myself!
  • I ran my first 5k! I did it in 32:21, which was less than the 33:00 time I had hoped(on the inside) for!
  • I worked on building my relationship and growing stronger with Love! Our relationship is better than it ever has been and I am thankful that we grew together, rather than apart!
  • I learned to cope with one of the hardest experiences! I talked about it, instead of throwing it to the wayside and pretending everything was fine.
  • I learned to ask questions...even if they seemed stupid! A first in my life!
  • I worked through my self esteem issues and can honestly say that I love WHO and WHAT I am and have become!
For the upcoming year:
  • I have purchased a pocket size day planner and WILL use it to note my workouts, water count, dates with friends, reminders, and noting things I learn from day to day!
  • I am definitely going to work on my writing skills and maybe turn my other blog into more of a creative writing/life experience type of blog.
  • I WILL REACH MY HEALTH GOALS BY THE SUMMER!! I have 110 in my mind as the weight I would like to be, but I can't logically depend on the number alone. I will make it more about HOW I feel, not what I look like!
  • I will be a better friend/bloggy buddy!
I will definitely be adding to this list, but now, it is sleepy time!

So, tell me. What are some of your goals for the New Year? How do you feel you did in 2009?

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Plans for Christmas Weekend...

I woke up this morning with a sore throat. Boo!! So, I am getting lots of fluids in and doing what I can to not get sick! Love has been sick since Saturday...Poor Guy. He passed it to me though.

Today, I want to talk a little about my eating and working out plans for the weekend!

I am not a dieter, I'm a lifestyle changer. So, this weekend will be all about portion control.

  • Love's dad always hosts Christmas Breakfast and it ROCKS! They have delicious food and I love breakfast food, like crazy love it!! Last year, it was meat, potatoes, eggs, and various other yumminess. I will watch my portion sizes for sure. 
  • I am going to be bringing(hopefully) velvet chocolate chip cookies, but I have to find a velvet cake mix first. I got the recipe from another blogger, but don't remember who. So, sorry. I am excited to contribute though :)
  • Father Love(Love's Dad) always ALWAYS has yummy sodas! This year, I will refrain and drink juice/water!
  • I plan to do the "30 day shred" christmas eve, christmas day, saturday AND sunday. My gym is closed until the 28th :(
  • I work Saturday and Sunday. So, those days are easy to control portion sizes.
I have no idea what my dad has planned for Christmas. Maybe we will see him, but I haven't talked to him about it yet. As far as my mom goes, she is trying to plan something, but I work all weekend and don't have tons of time over this weekend.

With everything I am going through with my family and such, I just don't feel that into Christmas. I don't care about presents, christmas lights, or any festivities. I just want to spend the day with the love of my life, and our kids(Did you see the pics I posted of them on my side bar?)! Of course, I am excited to spend some time with his family as well. I really hope to see mine, but we will see.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas!! Thank you for stopping by, it means so much to me!!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

My Battle with Weight....

I don't believe I have shared "My Struggle with Weight"!

I grew up an extremely active child. I was a dancer, cheerleader, softball player, and avid bike rider(and a scar on my lip to prove it haha). I wasn't a heavy child and I didn't eat terrible. I loved fruits and veggies, and ate them often.

When I was 12, my aunt passed away and that rocked my families world. All of us began battling different things...alcohol addiction, depression, loneliness, and food addiction. We went from being a family that ate at home to a family that constantly ate fast food. I battled bulimia and anorexia for the next 4 years. I found myself getting thinner, paler and began losing my hair. I still felt huge, but I was tired of living like that. So, I asked my parents for help. They didn't believe that I needed help and told me to go "eat a cheeseburger"! I believe a lot of that was that they were in so much emotional pain that none of us were thinking clearly and we couldn't help ourselves, let alone help each other.

I am thankful that I was not helped, because after that day, I started helping myself. I had days where I wouldn't eat and would revert back to minor bouts of anorexia, but I just kept pulling myself  back up and reminding myself that it was not the right way for me to live. I went on an up and down roller coaster.

At 16, I began eating my feelings. I ate my feelings and upon high school graduation day, I weighed in at 175 pounds. I am 4'11'' tall. Ironically, I didn't care. I was so tired of worrying about my weight.

I began working 2 jobs. I worked from 10AM-12AM most days of the week with a 30 minute break from 3-4. I remember one day about 3 months after starting that schedule that my size 16 jeans were literally falling off. So, I decided I needed to go buy some new pants. I had gone from a size 16 to a size 10 in 3 months. The reason? I was "too busy" to eat much on most days. Not the safest way to lose weight, but it happened without me noticing.

I was 19 at the time and decided it was time for me to get healthy and lose the weight the right way. I went to the gym EVERY DAY for 2 months and lost nothing...NADA....NILCH. I was so upset that I just gave up and quit going, I gave up on me.

The next 3 years were nothing short of a blur. A blur of parties, alcohol, friends, bars, and late night stops at sconecutter after leaving the bars. I had a blast, but I also knew I was getting pretty heavy. Sometime in those 3 years I did try a phentermine pill that I dropped 12 pounds using. Bringing my weight to 135ish. I was happy at this point just living and working. Not truly happy, but I felt like I was happy nonetheless.

When I met My Love, I was 155 pounds. We got serious pretty quickly. I went from bar hopping, late night eating, fast food loving heavy girl to early dinner, no snacking, no drinking 10 pounds lighter girl in about 6 months. I have kept the weight off for 2.5 years now and I have actually taken the next step and am losing more weight.

Ultimately when I get to 120, I will reevaluate my fitness/weight loss goals. I do know for sure that I still eat my feelings on occasion and am also lazy some days, but one thing is for sure.


Wednesday, December 16, 2009

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

And also a time when a lot of people fall off the wagon, myself included. I am terrible at portion control and I always have been! I didn't realize until recently that i'm an emotional eater. I have to keep asking myself am I really hungry or eating because i'm sad, stressed, angry, lonely, get the idea! It's a battle everyday right now. It wasn't as bad around Thanksgiving, but the past 2 weeks, I have next to NO motivation. It is tough, but I am staying storng and keeping up with it. I have fallen off and gotten back on the wagon in my life and i'm only 24! This time, it is just not happenin'!!!

The Fit Bride is having an awesome giveaway! Check it out, but don't enter because I really wanna win :)

How are you staying on track during the holiday season?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Inspiration Much?

Good Morning Everyone!!

These past few weeks have been LONG. I'm working 2 jobs, getting healthy, hitting the gym, taking care of my puppies, cleaning house(which Babe does help with), and am suffering from a slight case of insomnia. I say slight because, well, I CAN sleep....once I go to sleep 2-3 hours later than i'm used to. What am I doing in those 2-3 hours...TV watching, blog reading and laying in bed. I should be preparing my lunch or laying out my clothes, but do I? No, I need discipline.

I bought a pedometer at Costco yesterday and it is a hunk of junk. It said I walked 6 steps....when I was driving(hmmm..strange)! So, i will be taking it back today. I want a pedometer that really works and is fairly accurate. Any suggestions?

Babe's cousin, Lil, is telling everyone that I am her inspiration for working out and losing weight! It is so nice to hear and definitely strokes my ego. In this journey, I have definitely learned a lot about myself and who I want to be. I want to be an inspiration, a role model, a friend and a confidant to people struggling with the same thing as myself! This is something we don't have to do alone. We must find the power to do it in ourselves, but someone is always there to lean on and that is the most important  thing i've learned through this journey.

I did 8 minute abs(found on this morning....Geesh! What a great ab workout. Looking forward to doing it everyday :)

Babe bought delicious truffles....which are too dangerous for me. I had a serving and a half yesterday....not good, but i am not beating myself up over it. I'll eat them in moderation, but Babe will have them gone really fast :) so i'm not too worried!

Eating has been on. Working out hard this week. I have a christmas party Saturday and I want to look SMASHINGLY GORGEOUS.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Awesome Giveaway!!

Fantabulously Frugal is having an AWESOME GIVEAWAY! Go check it out!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Even More Changes....

Thanksgiving and Weight
First up, my weight went UP 4 pounds right after Thanksgiving. I didn't necessarily eat like garbage, I just didn't eat all day before the big meals. NOT GOOD, I know!! Every time I sat down to eat breakfast or lunch, I found another project I had to do to get ready. All 4 pounds are now gone, plus 1 more :) YAY!!

Second, I joined the local Community College gym on Monday :) Started off running on the treadmill and SUCKED it UP!! I had such a hard time maintaining my focus. I went to the gym Monday and with Love's cousin on Tuesday. I love her! She showed me this killer ab workout that I may have to vlog :) We'll see if I can dig out the camera. Today, I have a 4 miler planned, plus strength. I think i'm going to do half of the mileage on the indoor track and half on the treadmill. I'm doing my best to try and transition into indoor running. Sundays the gym is closed, so my long runs will all take place outside. I'm so happy to have the gym membership though. Especially for cross training!!

I will be back to post some YUMMY meals i've had so far this week later tonight :)

What are the best exercises to get rid of love handles??