Approaching The Anniversary.....

Today's weigh in has me at....

124.8!!!!!

That is a 1.5 pound loss for the week. I really would like to be in the 122's by my anniversary, but 1.8 pounds is a lot to lose in 4 days. Hmmmm....I will work towards that, but not be disappointed if I don't hit my goal. I have definitely come a long way this year. I have learned a lot and am loving the way my life is heading!

I didn't think I would actually make it to my one year anniversary of my healthy lifestyle journey. I didn't know that I would make it to week 2 ha! I have learned so much this past year. I also had a couple of pretty rough experiences this past year. My grandpa passed away and instead of pushing away my feelings, I ran into them head on.

When my parents told me about their divorce, I described in the post that I was still fuzzy. Well, 10 months hasn't made that any more clear. I am still extremely fuzzy and trying to cope. Lately, I have been trying to really deal with it and move forward, but it is so hard. Especially because they aren't even legally separated, no papers have been filed, I hate my mother's boyfriend, my family doesn't talk and all my parents do is argue. Some days are easier than others, but I will be helping my dad file the divorce papers this week. That will be rough, but at least it will give me a step towards some closure.

These were 2 of the rougher experiences I have ever had, but I didn't let my depression about either stop me from LIVING MY LIFE. It may have had moments where it slowed me down, but I refuse to give up! I want to be a person people look to for inspiration. I want to help others cope in positive ways even after bad things do happen. I have learned to stay positive in dark days, because the light is at the end of the tunnel....even if you have to chase it for a while :)

Don't forget to enter my giveaway!

How do you stay positive when times get tough?

The Moment That Almost Destroyed Me>.....

So, as some of you may remember, when I first started blogging my parents suddenly told me they were getting divorced(after almost 30 years of marriage)! To say I was crushed is an understatement!! I walked around for a week in a daze of confusion, sadness, guilt, anxiety and denial. I was in the middle of training for a 10k and I didn't exercise once...not even an attempt...that entire week. I cried every single day, I feared that my own relationship would end the same as theirs did. Love and I had had problems before my parents told me about their divorce and my heart hurt to think that Love and I couldn't make it through anything! I didn't sleep well, I didn't eat much....I kind of just existed!

Then, came the back story. My 2 brothers saw it coming for years. Momma and Daddy's love died years ago. I had moved out 2 years prior and I had no clue! I thought that they would be the ones that made it, the eternal love. They didn't.....they gave up on the same day!

I realized a lot about myself that week. I opened my eyes to a lot of my weaknesses. I also realized that I have drive to not let myself or my weaknesses take advantage of me for the rest of my life. So, I took action!

I started talking to Love more about everything(after being closed off for so long), I worked on my weaknesses and continue to do so, but the 1 thing I really did was take my healthy lifestyle change to a whole new level. I got a gym membership and have used it all but maybe 10 days(minus Sundays when the gym is closed) in almost 2 months. I started eating according to my hunger and schedule, rather than eating my feelings or even NOT eating at all! I have lost almost 7 pounds and I am continuing to run!

I refuse to get down even with all of the stuff that comes up about my parents everyday! I am a happy person on a journey, taking control back of my life. I have grown immensely in a matter of 3 months! I am taking my life, my Love and my training to an all new high!

I refuse to lay down and give up! I refuse to wallow! I refuse to take my anger out on others! I refuse to put my feelings away like they don't matter!! I refuse to not live my life to the fullest!!

Thank you all for all of the support you have given me. It has meant the world to me and really you all inspired me to continue on and not give up!!

Ummm....I suck!

I have been the worst blogger and blogger buddy, as of late! My apologies! I've gotten a little off track in some areas and am trying to get back on. Some bullet points and new goals to follow....

• I started a second job for the holiday season(i've done it every year minus one for the past 5 years). So, now my exercise schedule has another competitor. Although I put my health first. Somedays it's really hard to work in a workout. I'm still trying to figure out the balance.
• I am no longer in contact with my mother, which is hard, but she is sucking the life out of me with her lies. So, i'm moving forward in my life and letting go of the drama. I should have done this a long time ago, but I feel bad hurting her feelings, but my unconditional love has been drowned out by the lies and i'm exhausted. 
• Eating is still pretty good. It's the running that i've gotten off track with. I will start my 10k training program over again on Monday. I will start my half marathon training in January! 
• I AM GOING TO RUN THE "SLC HALF MARATHON" and i'm so excited to do so!! I believe it is April 10th. 

Back to running....
I am THE SLOWEST runner. I know that I have to get back to it and really push myself after 2 weeks of next to NO exercise. I am excited to start the speed work. I know it will be a challenge, but I know that I can do it. I'll be alternating between tempo runs and sprints on Wednesday's for the next 6 weeks. I'm really hoping to get my speed to 10:00 miles or less. Right now i'm at about 11:45.

Goals for this week:
1. Weigh Sunday.
2. Continue eating healthy.
3. Run everyday of my 10k training schedule.
4. Smile and be happy!!

I hope everyone is doing well. I promise to be a better bloggy buddy!

A weeks worth of words...

Coming up with some inspiration to write these days is far and in between! I'm exhausted this week. Emotionally, physically, mentally, and "weatherly"! It snowed on Monday, and Tuesday. However, it didn't stick to the ground. It's gone now and it's just cold out. I hate being cold!! It's the worst, but I am thankful that I have a warm bed to sleep in every night and a handsome man to warm me up when I get home from work ;)

Exercise wise, I'm not doing fabulous, but not terrible. Skipped running Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm going everyday the rest of the week and also doing the "30 day shred" twice a day to get caught up to where I should be for "Operation 4 by 11/24". I don't think i'll be a size 4 by then, but i'm going to push myself HARD!! I'm getting a treadmill from Loves brother, but I have to replace the "motherboard"...it's 100 bucks! I hate paying it, but at least I don't have to buy a new treadmill for 800, right? I'm so excited to bring my running inside though, for real!

Food wise: I've been decent. Not great, but decent. Lots of fruits and veggies. Lots of chicken. Some enchiladas(I know!!). Not many sweets at all, which are my number one weakness!

Family wise: My parent's divorce is a soap opera! I often say "These Are The Days of Our Lives", very dramatically with a thick accent! I wish they'd just get divorced and my mom would tell someone the truth instead of feeding us full of BS!!

To my readers: I am still reading all of your posts! However, I haven't had much to say lately! Comments will resume ASAP!

Stay tuned for a better post....Tonight, the story of my weight!

Nike+ Review...

I bought a Nike+ on Saturday morning and was so excited to use it! However, at first I couldn't figure it out! So, I did my 3 miles at the track with my ipod. I later realized it was an easy problem to fix. So, Sunday I put on my "game face" and calibrated it. I ran 1 mile and it was dead on.

Today I took it outside to give it a test drive and it rocks!! Not kidding, the second best investment i've made in my running, the first was obviously my shoes. I had just bought new Asics, so I didn't want to buy the Nike shoes. So, I stuck the sensor under the tongue of my shoe!

I ran 5k today. It's nice because now I can take any route and not have to worry about mapping or anything. I just plug in the Nike+ and go. I ran until it said I was half way through, stopped and stretched for a minute and then ran back the same way i'd come! It was so awesome!

Update on the personal life....I thought my parents divorce was so horrible, but even worse were the details. Not that the reason why they're splitting is awful, more watching who my momma is becoming. She's confused and lost and sad(has been for 15 or more years) and all we want to do is help her, but she feels my dad has made sure that my brothers and I are against her. I feel so terrible for her. I just hope she reaches out for someone and soon. I worry about her everyday. I wake up and my mind is on her, I work and my mind is on her, I run and I think of her. I know in time we'll all heal, but the road to the "healing place" is going to be long and windy, i'm sure. Thanks for all of your kind words! This has been a battle of a week(especially the past 3 days) and all of your sweet words really help me out!!

The Dust is Settling...

Thanks for the kind words! I really appreciate it. I know that there will be good days and bad days, but "life goes on" says my "big" little brother! I'm not going to let them get me down.

I was running a 5k yesterday and kept thinking about it, when I realized that I need to focus on me and MY life. I feel like a wreck this week, but I shouldn't. It's okay to be sad, but miserable...Not Okay with me! Love has been so supportive these past 3 days. When I cry, he just holds me. He listens when I talk about it. He gives me his honest opinion. He is my rock!! I can already feel how this is changing our relationship for the better. We are both the same way, we only want to get married one time....preferably to each other. That's why we don't push the whole marriage thing. We're letting it take its course. I know that it will be a long road and it will be hard, but I am strong and I always survive....ALWAYS!

Onto cooler things...eating this weekend was not perfect, but not horrible. My worst choices were: wine(2 bottles), the cheesecake, and the late night chips, salsa and queso. Then again, it was all done in moderation(except the wine...yikes)! I am not weighing myself though so I can't say I have a gain or a loss. I can say...I am STILL A 6! Haha! ***TMI is coming up in the next sentence*** I only skipped running on Sunday though(I was hungover), but I threw up just about everything in my body that I had eaten in 2 days....it made me feel so much better!!

Like I said, I ran a 5k last night and I felt so good. My time was long, but I haven't done neighborhoods or HILLS yet. So, i'll be working on speed and such for the next few weeks and then I will dive into 10k or maybe i'll just start 10k training today!

Does anybody have any tips for working on speed?

Good and Bad....

Saturday started out being the best day EVER!! Ended not great! I'm doing this bullet form, because my brain is just fuzzy and not really processing.

• Reef tour was a hit. We probably had 50 or 60 people come over to look at our fish tank. Everyone was impressed and that made me feel great, because Love really works hard on it and he deserves all of the wonderful compliments!! I'm so proud of him!!!!!
• I went on a 2.5 mile run and did the "30 day Shred" and I was feeling great!!
• Went out with my mom, dad, and Love to Cheesecake Factory and ate really well, but did have some cheesecake. It was delicious!!
• Saturday morning I put on my "goal jeans", they're a size 6. I have a little muffin top, but they fit!! I'm a 6! Love said he's really proud of me and it feels so good to hear that!
• After dinner my parents came back to  the house and I poured my mother and myself some wine. We were just talking and my dad said "We have something to tell you"! I said "Who died?"! Then, my mom said,"we're getting a divorce!"! My heart, my whole body stopped and I laughed and told them they must be joking! They weren't! I'll probably be sharing more about how I feel about this in the future, but right now, i'm shocked.